I'm sitting here on Tuesday at work and only 5 of us have bothered to show up because we still haven't been paid when we were supposed to get paid last Wednesday- bad beat. Our pay better come in and the company best not go bust cos I am pretty broke right now!
Last time I had £203.55 in my crypto roll. I played here and there a bit, various limits, even dabbled in Omaha with great success and also played Pot Limit Hold 'Em for the first time which was interesting. Anyway, at peak I got this up to just under £700. Then I started to lose a bit and got scared so withdrew £272.24 to cover what I withdrew from by bank last month. Inevitably I lost what I had left however. Deposited again, spun up again, withdrew, lost, deposited, spun, withdrew, lost etc etc. So I don't have a roll right now but that money I withdrew is safe, I bloody needed it seeing as we haven't been paid and my overdraft was maxed out!
I'm not sure where to go from here, it's likely I will need to be looking for a new job, but what? I have no idea what I want to do, I have a degree in English but I don't want to be a journalist or a teacher which is what everybody seems to suggest. I need some direction in my life but right now I'm just not getting it from anywhere. I was speaking to a friend the other day who was telling me about a Freudian theory that we self punish in order to have some justification for our misery. I told him this was very true and can be applied to the blasé way that I threw away £250 the other day very quickly at £50 NL raising nearly every hand preflop to at least 5x the BB and calling every 3 bet; in one way tilting my tits off because of a JJ vs AA on an A J x flop cooler (he flatted my standard raise pre) and in another, wanting justification for the despair I often feel about working such a boring low paid job and getting nowhere in life. In some ways it felt good, almost refreshing - to rid myself of my roll yet again and along with it the false aspirations of spinning a large sum of money and escaping the daily monotony of this shit life. They must have loved me on that table as I have loved similar maniacs; I can just see their notes now - 'LAG fish, no concept of position, will call all in with any draw, never folds to a 3 bet pre flop, raises nearly every hand, donk.'
I realise this sounds quite morbid, but it's hard to be optimistic when faced with the reality of this life and a ridiculous poker pipe dream for someone with too much compulsion to gamble it all away and say "See, I told ya, my life is shit, I just lost a months wages in 3 hands!"
Last time I had £203.55 in my crypto roll. I played here and there a bit, various limits, even dabbled in Omaha with great success and also played Pot Limit Hold 'Em for the first time which was interesting. Anyway, at peak I got this up to just under £700. Then I started to lose a bit and got scared so withdrew £272.24 to cover what I withdrew from by bank last month. Inevitably I lost what I had left however. Deposited again, spun up again, withdrew, lost, deposited, spun, withdrew, lost etc etc. So I don't have a roll right now but that money I withdrew is safe, I bloody needed it seeing as we haven't been paid and my overdraft was maxed out!
I'm not sure where to go from here, it's likely I will need to be looking for a new job, but what? I have no idea what I want to do, I have a degree in English but I don't want to be a journalist or a teacher which is what everybody seems to suggest. I need some direction in my life but right now I'm just not getting it from anywhere. I was speaking to a friend the other day who was telling me about a Freudian theory that we self punish in order to have some justification for our misery. I told him this was very true and can be applied to the blasé way that I threw away £250 the other day very quickly at £50 NL raising nearly every hand preflop to at least 5x the BB and calling every 3 bet; in one way tilting my tits off because of a JJ vs AA on an A J x flop cooler (he flatted my standard raise pre) and in another, wanting justification for the despair I often feel about working such a boring low paid job and getting nowhere in life. In some ways it felt good, almost refreshing - to rid myself of my roll yet again and along with it the false aspirations of spinning a large sum of money and escaping the daily monotony of this shit life. They must have loved me on that table as I have loved similar maniacs; I can just see their notes now - 'LAG fish, no concept of position, will call all in with any draw, never folds to a 3 bet pre flop, raises nearly every hand, donk.'
I realise this sounds quite morbid, but it's hard to be optimistic when faced with the reality of this life and a ridiculous poker pipe dream for someone with too much compulsion to gamble it all away and say "See, I told ya, my life is shit, I just lost a months wages in 3 hands!"
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